Huh?

from Batman #161

The Goddamn Batman

Brian, from Comics Should Be Good, has been kind enough to feature Random Panels in a weekly column he calls Comic Blogs Should Be Good.

By following the above link, you'll find the answer to a question so amazingly pointless, so mind shatteringly inessential, that it could only be answered by an unemployed comic book geek with a love for mspaint and way too much time on his hands-

"What would a collaboration between Bob Kane and Frank Miller look like?"

Click here for a version with slightly higher resolution.

Everything You Need to Know...

about why the Joker's cool and Robin sucks.

In just two panels.

The Joker is So Cool...

that when he smokes-

he exhales
Giant Green Smoke Skulls of Death!!

Robin Hates Your Junk

Marvel as Dick Grayson does his part to keep the criminal population down!

Thrill as he destroys utterly both a man's testes and his dignity with but a mere tire to the groin and a barbed comment!

Tremble as his mighty fist plunges deep into the crotch of the criminal cabal!

Gaze in Awe at his ingenious weaponization of cheap furniture!

Amaze as he sends thug after thug to the intensive care ward of Our Lady of Gotham!

A Sociopath in Little Green Shorts and Elf Boots

I've spent most of the last week reading the first hundred or so issues of Detective Comics. I don't recommend it to the timid or faint of heart. The side effects have been revealing, though. Besides the nightly dreams where I solve most of my problems by punching people through windows to their deaths, I've developed what I assume to have been a previously dormant hatred of the Boy Wonder. Before, he was just vaguely annoying. Now I can't stop picturing a blood covered crowbar whenever I see the smug little creep.

Disagree?

I believe the evidence backs me up-

No wonder the Joker is fixated on murdering the little brat.

If that guys not dead, at the very least he's gonna need years of painful of physical therapy.

Faster, Batman! Kill! KIll!

Toxic Relationships of the Golden Age

The other day I happened upon a reprinted golden age Manhunter story that was featured as a back up in an issue of New Gods. After reading it, I can say with great confidence that, much like Superman, golden age Manhunter was a huge dick.

Our story begins at the natural history museum where Paul Kirk is showing socialite Ellen Drake his latest trophy kills. After the baby seal exhibit fails to impress, it's on to the big game. . .

Yeesh! He must have shot him in the face a couple of times. That's, hands down, the ugliest tiger I've ever seen. It's wall-eyed for god's sake! I'm also pretty sure it must have been suffering from some sort of gigantism of the head before it died. Well, it's obvious to me that either Mr. Kirk gets his jollies by hunting down and killing handicapped animals, or he's just got the world's worst taxidermist.

After Ellen's wealthy father gets killed later that day by the Tiger mob during a botched jewel heist, Ellen begs Paul to hunt down the men responsible. He blows her off and she vows to get revenge herself. How does she go about tracking down one of the city's most notoriously cruel crimebosses? What genius plan does she enact to ensnare the fiend? . . .

Being the hero's girlfriend in a golden age story all but guarantees her capture. Her being incredibly stupid doesn't help things much either. And, after punching some thugs in the face and throwing some dude off a bridge, Manhunter's on the trail!

Mmm. . . Bullets. . .

Huh. Car pooling. I guess he really does care about the environment.

He's still a dick though. As proven by the following scene.

Her father's been murdered. She's got to be feeling mighty stupid for getting captured. She's tied up and helpless. But that's not enough. No. Manhunter has to humiliate her even further by leaving her for the police to find.

Wow. . . Those two really deserve each other, don't they.